Live your life by developing and growing each day

Okay so I was going to have the title as 'why life is the same as baking a cake'...or something along those lines. Then I thought 'too cliche'.

But the message I wanted to communicate is along the same lines. I could keep it real simple by saying 'you get out what you put in' but it's not as simple as that. Achieving what you 'want' in life is not simply about effort. It's about a focused and directed effort that has been refined from past experiences, failures and research. Living a life you 'want' can be tough because it isn't as if your wants remain static...once you achieve one thing then you move onto your next goal. This is usually automatic for achievers in that not having a goal, even though you've reached all in the past, is worst then the difficulties faced in achieving a current goal.

But the fact of the matter is that none of us is owned anything in life and you have to be prepared to take the good with the bad. It doesn't matter how much you think you deserve something or wish for something to happen....even if you think something is 100% guaranteed to happen for you the fact is if it doesn't it doesn't - no matter how much you thought it would.

Now in these current economic times we are all being tested; financially challenging, jobs and careers not as secure...this could be leading to relationship and health issues etc etc. However it is what you do now that will make the difference and not a time to give up. To lead the life you want you have to take a path you think is correct, judge the results and if not as you want, make adjustments and try again. This is repeated as long as it takes. It's not about following the same process or 'receipe' but harder but doing things a little different, adding something/taking something away. You can also look at the 'receipe' of another person who has what you want - this is again another theme of neurolinguistic programming or NLP; modelling your actions on another.

Bottom line is that you cannot get out of bed each morning expecting something to happen because you 'deserve it or think it will happen because it did in the past'. Each action has to be attached to a result and you have to be prepared to change your actions if necessary - most important thing is not to ever stop because it might only need one more adjustment for everything to fall into place

Why "awareness'' is critical to you achieving what you truly value

The word 'awareness' has come to my attention recently and in fact the more I think about it the more I am beginning to appreciate the importance and benefit of paying attention to what it actually means. The context in which I want to approach 'awareness' is that of recognizing where you are today, where you want to be in the future and ensuring you are undertaking the correct actions to make that happen - and not get lost in the complexities every day life brings. Some might even want to call this 'self awareness' but what I'm talking about isn't really about being aware of your identity...it more about being aware of your actions and are they congruent to your goals.

Why do I choose to write about this today? Well it's been on my mind for a while and I've come to the conclusion that whilst many of us have goals, or seeing as we're at the start of 2009, perhaps a resolution I would predict no many of us know how to achieve that goal, whether it is the right one for them considering their current position or whether knowing what it would take to achieve the goal be prepared to undertake the commitment. Such as saying you will go to the gym 4 times a week for an hour when your current schedule would only allow 2 or by saying you'll save 25% of your income when your budget is tight at 15% savings limit - these are all good goals but there are non-considered hurdles in between to take care of. You might say "Daryl, but I'll just clear my schedule or ask for a pay rise...this will take care of those hurdles". Great, but what is the cost of clearing your schedule and what do you have to do to ensure the pay rise?

From my perspective the importance of awareness is that to clearly understand what is probable, possible and not possible at any point in time and to focus on the first two to enable the latter to be achieved as well. Being aware will prevent you from wasting time, money or emotion on actions that are not going to permit you to achieve your goals and may perhaps take you further away. It is also of great importance to be aware of what those goals mean to you...even if you do achieve it then what? If you 'just go' to the gym 4 times a week then what? If you save 25% of your salary what does that mean for you? If you get promoted in your work what position does that put you in?

Being aware is critical in career and business management - particularly at the early stages of each. Pretty much everyone I know is excited during the interview stage of a job and even more so when the job is offered. However if that job does not turn out right then only a short time later that excitement is replaced by disappointment. Same goes with a business, where everything in the startup phase is exciting but the reality hits home once you are running the business. Being aware will allow you to make better informed and objective decisions which should create more optimal results for you.

So my advice is do not live life on automatic. Achieve a state of awareness of where you are, why you are where you are and where you want to go. Ensure that you are taking the necessary steps to head in the direction you want to go and if you remember one thing, don't assume everything will just work out. You need to take control.

The need to be aware of where you are and what you are doing

The word 'awareness' has come to my attention recently and in fact the more I think about it the more I am beginning to appreciate the importance and benefit of paying attention to what it actually means. The context in which I want to approach 'awareness' is that of recognizing where you are today, where you want to be in the future and ensuring you are undertaking the correct actions to make that happen - and not get lost in the complexities every day life brings. Some might even want to call this 'self awareness' but what I'm talking about isn't really about being aware of your identity...it more about being aware of your actions and are they congruent to your goals.

Why do I choose to write about this today? Well it's been on my mind for a while and I've come to the conclusion that whilst many of us have goals, or seeing as we're at the start of 2009, perhaps a resolution I would predict no many of us know how to achieve that goal, whether it is the right one for them considering their current position or whether knowing what it would take to achieve the goal be prepared to undertake the commitment. Such as saying you will go to the gym 4 times a week for an hour when your current schedule would only allow 2 or by saying you'll save 25% of your income when your budget is tight at 15% savings limit - these are all good goals but there are non-considered hurdles in between to take care of. You might say "Daryl, but I'll just clear my schedule or ask for a pay rise...this will take care of those hurdles". Great, but what is the cost of clearing your schedule and what do you have to do to ensure the pay rise?

From my perspective the importance of awareness is that to clearly understand what is probable, possible and not possible at any point in time and to focus on the first two to enable the latter to be achieved as well. Being aware will prevent you from wasting time, money or emotion on actions that are not going to permit you to achieve your goals and may perhaps take you further away. It is also of great importance to be aware of what those goals mean to you...even if you do achieve it then what? If you 'just go' to the gym 4 times a week then what? If you save 25% of your salary what does that mean for you? If you get promoted in your work what position does that put you in?

Being aware is critical in career and business management - particularly at the early stages of each. Pretty much everyone I know is excited during the interview stage of a job and even more so when the job is offered. However if that job does not turn out right then only a short time later that excitement is replaced by disappointment. Same goes with a business, where everything in the startup phase is exciting but the reality hits home once you are running the business. Being aware will allow you to make better informed and objective decisions which should create more optimal results for you.

So my advice is do not live life on automatic. Achieve a state of awareness of where you are, why you are where you are and where you want to go. Ensure that you are taking the necessary steps to head in the direction you want to go and if you remember one thing, don't assume everything will just work out. You need to take control.

Dealing with the challenge of procrastination

Let me first start by saying that whilst procrastination is usually viewed by many people as negative it not need to be seen that way. It was interesting that a conversation I had with two friends this morning, both from different education, cultural and work backgrounds the topic of procrastination came around and both of my friends were facing the same perceived 'problem' with procrastination. That 'problem' related to how to rectify the situation.

Just by coincidence I have read an article in November's Scientfic American www.sciam.com that focused on procrastination; what it meant and how you could go about reducing it. I agree very much with what the article says about the potential negative affects if indeed the procrastination stops you from completing those tasks that are most aligned with your values, beliefs and motivations. However I would not say that procrastination does not serve a purpose - in fact if you are aware of it you can start to assess the reason for your behaviour and allow you to consciously focus on those tasks more important to you. So managing your own state of procrastination will provide you with a number of benefits, namely financial and health related and hopefully also allow you to simplify and focus your energy on the tasks truly important.

I would disagree with the article in two respects, however have to note that the author sees procrastination as the putting off of a task that is critical or important whereas I see it simply as putting of a task that you said you were going to do - whether it is of high importance or minimal importance. The article talked about procrastination as a prevention of goals whereas I see procrastination as perhaps providing a warning signal that the task you are procrastinating does not align to your values or beliefs. Or, if it noted that a particular task will allow you to achieve a task important to you it will permit you to recognise you may need to 'reframe' your thoughts around certain tasks as the same issues may very well appear again. I would add to the recommendation surrounding goal setting - rather than setting a task and time (which is necessary to establish new habits) I would also look to assigning a meaning to the task itself and the outcome. This will provide a stronger motivator.

It just so happens the same magazine had an article on 'brain distraction' http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=procrastinating-again&page=5. Without being a neuroscientist I would suggest that this is another reason behind procrastination - having too many things on your task list that will start to clutter and confuse your brain. Combined with your personality effect to become stressed and anxious, and combined with the usual environmental pressures, it is easy to see why many people suffer from procrastination to some extent.

Now back to my friends. Both smart guys and as I said both had a problem with procrastination. What I found out was that it wasn't in respect to not achieving...rather it was attempting to achieve too much and certain tasks were not being allocated the necessary time. Or the time was allocated and when it came time to work on a task the subconscious always found something more important to do. My advice was this - attempt to priortize your tasks along with reasons for completing the task. Do not have a goal with a justification. Just as important was to be aware of your behaviour around procrastination and see if any pattern emerges. This may be something you either have to work (that is a negative behaviour) or it may be your subconscious telling you that a task actually isn't so important to you.

Preparing for the day when you must become 'You' Ltd

A lot of talk and good talk has been in the media, over the past year in particular, in respect to 'the brand call you' and what this actually means for you. In today's society where trends in social and business networking are necessitating the need to communicate personal differentiation, it is very important to see yourself as a personal brand and more importantly what it takes for your brand to be perceived how you intend it to be. What you think and what others think can be completely separate things - this is one of the most important rules of knowing yourself.

However I see personal branding a little more than how you dress, how you speak etc. I see the whole concept more about 'You' Ltd, meaning you have to see yourself as a company in itself. In addition to branding, you need a strategy, goals, financial targets, development plans and processes that will permit you to succeed in achieving your goals. Society is moving away from relying on big business to provide jobs for life, guarantee your future or provide the personal and professional development you desire. Remember big business is also run by people who for most part will put themselves first. I am aware of large organizations that are planning today to contract out large sections of their workforce in order to better control cost, streamline the organization and be able to control the resources they utilize. That means if you are not prepared for the day when your company asks you to take redundancy then you will not be in a good place.

So what I wanted to do is provide a few key steps in getting you thinking about the day when you may have to take your skills and work as an independent.

1. Think about your overall strategy and what you want to achieve from your work. This includes personal development, lifestyle and financial needs and wants. Write yourself a business plan on 'You' Ltd. Undertake research on the market to see what careers may be in demand in the future and why - or go to someone who can assist in this area like a business and career consultancy. Dynamic Life Creations undertakes such research for a lot of its clients in this space.

2. Consider the competititive advantage do you bring to the market. What skills do you have that others do not. Which sectors and organizations would want your skills and what period of time are we talking.

3. Before the time comes perhaps consider networking with others who can provide complimentary skills that can contribute to you achieving your overall strategy.

4. Update your basic skills around goal setting and management, networking, financial management, marketing and the internet - these are skills you will need to ensure 'You' Ltd succeeds. Even if you won't be actively involved with everything, when running your own business you need an understanding of all facets of your organization in order to manage them.

5. Speak to others already running their own business. Events never happen until they do and not being prepared for a changing economy will be something you will have to deal with when the time comes.

Life decisions based around the 'status quo' will fail in today's world

Why have I chosen to write about the above subject today? I see a lot of people who are walking around at the moment kind of stunned and shocked with the multiple stress of losing wealth, job security, political instability and the fact that they suddenly realize they have no clear life direction or purpose. The question is what can you do to adapt and what does a changing society mean for you personally?

Well first of all stop thinking that life will just 'work out' even if you make little effort or do not think about your actions. In the past society was more stable and changed at a slower rate - people lived by different principles. Now everyone wants more, more is expected of us, consumerism is becoming more of a lifestyle where we either work or spend and entrepreneurs are always looking for the next thing as humans' attention span is now so short. Unfortunately there are also limited resources so those who do not go and get will end up with nothing.

You might say great wealth or job satisfaction is not important, you would rather live an easy life. Well get real...with technology, investment trends, globalization, political disputes changing ever so quickly there is no way anyone's life cannot not be impacted by social changes occurring. The need to adapt is just as necessary now as it was for the caveman when fighting for his life in the wild. Our 'wild' is now the urban jungle and the dinosaurs are everyone else trying to succeed. The survival of the fittest rings true and if you don't realize this now then good luck.

However if you do realize you must adapt with change then your next step is to focus on how much you need to change and in what areas. Whether it be new skills for a career, changing your investment structure, changing your perceptions of the world, fitness and mental agility your plan must be clear and focused. Society, as it was in the past, will not automatically take care of you, your employer will not guarantee you a job for life, your wife will not guarantee a relationship for life...it is time to accept that the direction your life takes is in your hands and your hands only.

Go see a business or personal performance coach, look at tools such as neurolinguistic programming to put the changes into effect. But more importantly act today.

Is life actually about survival of the fittest?

Consider your life today and the journey you have taken to get to where you are. Think of the decisions and choices you made, the experiences you've had and your goals for the future - then consider the underlying theme behind it all. The theme is survival. That's right...all you have done and all you will do is based around surviving in this world.

I've said for a while that as you start moving out of childhood, where life is all about fun, life becomes more complicated. You encounter more forced responsibility and duties that you wouldn't choose to undertake. You work a job, rarely out of choice, but rather to earn an income that you need for survival. How you got that job was perhaps influence from parents who focused on survival and a main component of university study and career choice is financial reward - again about survival.

So how can you ensure you are one of the fittest and make life more than just survival but rather an experience? Well for one start by taking a look at those in the world that appear to have made it and living this way. One approach is to work extremely hard, make a lot of money at what you love to do and delegate all other tasks. Another way is to simplify your life and reduce the pressure on having to survive rather than actually living eg. reduce financial commitments and excess expenditure.

End of the day everyone runs a different race with a different winning post but the secret is acknowledging that fact and making sure you do not get caught up running the wrong race. If you do and if life is indeed about survival of the fittest it will be a race you will surely lose.

Achieve your goals by action not thought

Too many times we think of a great goal we want to achieve and how fabulous it would be if it was achieved. Then in the future, whether it be weeks, months or years, we look back at that unachieved goal and think 'what if'. The 'what if' concept is not a positive thought as it signals that you regret your current situation and am considering what may have been if you had taken another path in life. That may be a career move, choosing to get fit, investment decision or relationship.

However I can think of at least two ways to benefit from the 'what if' thought. The first is to learn from the thoughts you are having in respect to a past decision. Can you identify a trend or bad habbit you wish to change - what might happen if this trend continues? What can you do today to ensure you don't make the same choices you made in the past? The second way to benefit relates more to what you didn't do in the past, that is, you thought about doing something but never went ahead and actioned it.

Unfortunately you do not achieve goals simply by thought, you achieve them by actions. The 'what if' thought might include 'what if I had more money/good relationship/career I love.....' and now it is a matter of acknowledging what you need to do to achieve this. Thinking is not going to change anything by itself. You need to combine thought and action to achieve your goals.

Managing the conflict between living in the present and life in the future

I have been packing my furniture and person items for the last week now and without professional movers I'm not sure I would have made it through the week. I'm moving back to London to commence some postgraduate study in psychology and to work on building my business in the United Kingdom and Europe. However as the time draws closer to the leaving date and putting an end to my time in New York the more it is I reflect on the decision I have made and what it is I have actually done.

Living in New York was a lifelong dream and one of the best of my life. Great friends, vibrant city....it's an experience I would recommend for anyone. If you want to party, live an excessive lifestyle, eat and drink 24/7 then New York is the place to do it - plus unlike any other city I have lived in getting a taxi at 4am is not a problem. Therefore from a quality of life short-term prospective New York was a great place to be. However from a long-term perspective New York was not optimal for me - I had visa restrictions when attempting to build my business, education and living costs are astronomical, and the amount of money you spend in this city is crazy. I think the only thing I do that doesn't cost is my weekly run in Central Park. Also forget Manhattan real estate unless you want a shoebox in Harlem. Thus I considered that my move to London, whilst not the move I wanted to make right now, is actually based on a lifestyle I wish to create for myself in 3-4 years time.

Upon reflection I consider that many of my friends and colleagues in New York are in the same situation. Living in New York is fun unlike any other and it is easy to be bedazzled by the life you can lead. The decision for many to live in New York is based on the lifestyle they will have here and now. Though the experience career wise can also be invaluable it is not experience you couldn't gain in any other major city in the world - London, Hong Kong, Shanghai or even Sydney. Therefore the choice to live in New York is because of the fun and excitement. However is it the choice for many of us to make if we consider our long term aspirations? For some it is...however for many of us, after a certain number of years, it is not. Therefore the choice has to be made at some point whether to live for the present or the future, based on our wants and needs.

I believe the approach to take is to be conscious of why you are living the way you do, what you get from it and is there anything you need to change. Waking up one day and thinking you don't want to be where you are will lead to a rash decision. Rather you must know yourself enough to make short-term and long-term plans. As for me as I pack for London I'm not thinking (or trying not to) about the downside of leaving New York, instead I am concentrating on how great life will be by undertaking this move in the next few years and knowing the sacrifice is very well worth it.