Live your life by following a successful receipe...

Okay so I was going to have the title as 'why life is the same as baking a cake'...or something along those lines. Then I thought 'too cliche'.

But the message I wanted to communicate is along the same lines. I could keep it real simple by saying 'you get out what you put in' but it's not as simple as that. Achieving what you 'want' in life is not simply about effort. It's about a focused and directed effort that has been refined from past experiences, failures and research. Living a life you 'want' can be tough because it isn't as if your wants remain static...once you achieve one thing then you move onto your next goal. This is usually automatic for achievers in that not having a goal, even though you've reached all in the past, is worst then the difficulties faced in achieving a current goal.

But the fact of the matter is that none of us is owned anything in life and you have to be prepared to take the good with the bad. It doesn't matter how much you think you deserve something or wish for something to happen....even if you think something is 100% guaranteed to happen for you the fact is if it doesn't it doesn't - no matter how much you thought it would.

Neurolinguistic programming or NLP talks about 'toward' and 'away' motivations - either you do something to obtain something or do something to stop something from happening. Now in current economic times we are all being tested; financially challenging, jobs and careers not as secure...this could be leading to relationship and health issues etc etc. However it is what you do now that will make the difference and not a time to give up. To lead the life you want you have to take a path you think is correct, judge the results and if not as you want, make adjustments and try again. This is repeated as long as it takes. It's not about following the same process or 'receipe' but harder but doing things a little different, adding something/taking something away. You can also look at the 'receipe' of another person who has what you want - this is again another theme of neurolinguistic programming or NLP; modelling your actions on another.

Bottom line is that you cannot get out of bed each morning expecting something to happen because you 'deserve it or think it will happen because it did in the past'. Each action has to be attached to a result and you have to be prepared to change your actions if necessary - most important thing is not to ever stop because it might only need one more adjustment for everything to fall into place

Society's evolution - better balance or lazy and immature?

The world is one crazy place today...war, heavily political, business development all over the world in developed and undeveloped countries, more greed then ever before, more stress than before and the continual search for wealth and a work-life balance. Makes for one convoluted existence doesn't it?

So when it comes to assessing where our society is and what it represents the question arises....is society maturing or becoming more immature? I think there can be arguments for both.

On the one hand society seems to be going through a changing phase that is simply more pronounced than ever before in history. This is reflected in changing values, attitudes, motivations that appear to make life unpredictable with no structure and no clear goals. People want wealth but do not want to work like in the past...is this progress and commonsense or unrealistic and lazy? It appears more and more people want it all which is therefore making it difficult for more of us to achieve this - don't tell me everyone can 'have it all'...limited resources means that this cannot be the case. To support the maturing argument it is simply that change is occurring faster than in the past because it can - not so hard to understand. The society, in the developed parts at least, are looking to achieve a better balance, work smarter not harder lifestyle and perhaps could be seen as more well rounded.

However the immature side has a strong argument. Everyone wants more wealth with less effort, greed is more prevalent then ever before, the age that is acceptable to become mature and responsible is now mid 30's rather than mid 20's, lack of respect of finance and investment principles and it is often more about caring for one's self rather than your community. Life choices are more 'me' then 'us' and in many aspects it appears we are regressing rather than developing. Stress is increasing rather than decreasing even in the face of all our technological advances. The majority of society would take a lottery win and live a life of luxury over work.

Only time will tell whether we can conclude more mature or less mature is the consensus agreement as to our society's progression and level of emotional and social intelligence. The key determinant of course will be the perceived concept of what mature or immature represents.

How to achieve higher levels of performance - Part 1

For many people what I am about to say is not new and a principle they live by on an everyday basis. However for many it is something either not known, not recognized or just ignored. What I am talking about is the concept of blocking out emotion and old mental anchors when it comes to breaking through new barriers to achieve new goals.

I would consider myself as intelligent as the next person so of course I would say I understand what I am talking about today. But do I follow this principle day in, day out? No. Do I think what held me back from achieving certain goals, blaming everything but myself? Yes. If this is you and you want to stop the frustration when this occurs by not making it occur then keep on reading. Otherwise feel free to continue with the old habits.

I am not sure why but on the rowing machine at the gym yesterday I was putting in quite an effort and the body and mind was becoming weaker as time went on. But I had said I wanted to hit certain numbers on the rower and unless I upped the pace I wouldn't make it. At one point I thought (well the instinctual self or Id part of who I am)'who cares, I'm still getting a good workout' but the Rational or Ego self and Internalized/Ego Ideal self said 'no way, you need this to improve plus you already said you were going to do it. If you don't you'll continue to make average okay to achieve'.

Very good you may say but what next. Then I determined a purpose and defined the principles for what I was about to do over the next five or so minutes; better health, keep word to self, achieve goal, feel better - this created a value framework which I could operate within and move forward, rather than perform an action 'out of habit'. When the going gets tough, the principle of instinctual self will look to protect you and make it okay not to follow through unless you have a stronger underlying principle that supercedes. This is a key factor in achieving new goals or targets.

So I had resolve, princples and purpose but still some pain and exhaustion. Well I looked deep down and asked myself 'how did I truly feel'. The answer was actually not bad...my brain had created a upper limit based on past exercise and it was sending me a message that I was nearing this threshold. However what the brain knew was not what my body was capable was - in fact no where near it. The pain was not real, the state of exhaustion was not real. It was all a mental perception based on past experiences and performance. Therefore the trick was to focus on the actual task of rowing along with the breathing etc and believe it or not the physiological change improved my emotional or mental state.

Therefore in finishing off what allowed me to achieve this task, better than I had before was; define your goal clearly and necessary action, establish principles and purpose for goal - including keeping your word to yourself and thirdly, be task oriented and do not let old barriers determine your emotional state and thus your physiological or mental performance. Focus on doing and you'll find your emotional state switches and supports you.