Understanding your reaction to events

How do you react to a car horn being blown at you, a screaming child in the seat next to you on the train, the work promotion, the day your childhood sweetheart agreed to marry you, when you lost your job and half your wealth in the stockmarket correction? The list could go on and on but the same question applies...how did you react to each, what was the cause of that reaction and was it in your best interests to react that way?

A reaction to an event is due to the 'internal' representation of that event against a whole lot of internal criteria which provides a basis of how you should react - both emotionally and physiologically. However that internal representation has been based on many factors, some of which you had no control over because they are buried in the subconscious and others due to current environmental conditions and others simply due to genetics. Thus when a reaction is born it doesn't necessarily make it right...it is just something that is aligned with your internal framework of being.

There are many tools and techniques today that can assist with understanding the basis of reactions, including NLP, but it is not an overnight process. However understanding the basis for a reaction to an event is important for two reasons. One it can assist in predicting how you may react to similar events and two allow you to identify the re-labelling of event meanings necessary to produce the reaction that you wish.

For example, you lose 50% of your wealth in the stockmarket crash. The initial emotional reaction can be anger, sadness, frustration and this may lead to you putting all money into cash and becoming ultra-conservative and ignoring opportunities. However your label for cash may mean self worth, represent your very being, measure of yourself against friends etc. If you re-label money to mean simply a function of trade, easy to make, no bearing on life worth you can begin to refocus your physical reaction to (1) learn where you went wrong and make adjustments (2) learn more about investment and putting in place processes to achieve newly established goal (3) become determined to live the rest of your life but respect money a little more. A state of being is simply a state of being...it exists in the present if you wish but it also exists in the future if you wish it to be so. This is good for positive states but not for negative states.

Therefore when it comes to understanding your reaction to events be aware that (1) that old labels exist which will help determine that reaction (2) you have to re-label meaning of events if you want to change a reaction and (3) your current emotional state will only change with a event if you either re-label and/or take action to ensure you have more control around consequences of a particular event.

What does 'being an expert' truly mean?

We have all heard the term 'expert' mentioned countless times whether being applied to investing, health, fitness, relationship, politics, career etc. These 'experts' are seen to be the best of the best in their particular field and are turned to provide the best or most appropriate answers or solutions to any related matters. They are also paid the most to provide their time and knowledge.

But what does being an 'expert' truly mean?

Does it mean the most education or the one who knows the most, the one who can best apply their knowledge to real life situations, the one with the best results? Or does it simply mean the one who has convinced the most people that they are indeed an expert?

There are a lot of people who claim to be experts in their field who indeed have not proven that they indeed even an good at that they do. Most television experts are not experts but they have created a brand that makes them appear to be an expert to the public. This leads to TV ratings and thus their brand is sustained. Many financial and investment experts are not personally successful but through clever marketing appeal to the public's perception of what an expert is and thus become experts. Sports commentators are not necessarily experts on sport or politicians on politics. Sportspeople are good at a single role in a sport not all roles and politicians are not experts in politics simply because they were in politics. Real estate agents are again not necessarily experts in valuing a property but perhaps very good at sales.

The point I'm trying to make is don't be fooled by people who claim to be 'experts'. Whilst some truly are (though there is no set definition or classification) many are self proclaimed and are experts through clever PR and marketing. My advice before hiring an experts is to do your own reseach (DYOR) and see if it compares to that of an expert....it might only be the difference between yourself and an expert is reading a couple of pages of a book!